same mistakes (not the One Direction song)

Ok late night post.

I feel like I'm continuously asking and wanting forgiveness and understanding from my friends for my own personality flaws/wrongdoings, yet I don't actually change? And then I just keep doing these things over and over again.

Reminder: No one is going to repeatedly take shit from me, no matter how close. Not even my family.

Everyone who does or ever has called themselves my friend is probably a great human being. I actually suck at friendship. I'm just a really selfish person.

Sometimes I forget that my appreciation and gratitude towards my friends still being my friends is not enough fuel to keep a friendship going. I actually have to stop being a flaky little bitch. I don't know if it's worse that it comes so unconsciously. Does this mean these are just careless mistakes due to my personality flaws or does it mean my subconscious is actually an evil bitch who cannot keep to itself??

Why the fuck I suddenly decided to be Robin Hood I don't know. It never was any of my fucking business. 

I don't know how I'm going to set things right this time, her wound has reopened and the cut is too deep this time.

What disgusts me is part of me still thinks that it's not entirely my fault.

I'm starting to think I have some mild form of a borderline personality disorder. Or maybe I'm a pathological liar/sociopath.

Or maybe I should stop watching Girl, Interrupted.

Or maybe I should stop trying to clinically find a blame for my own badpersonhood and just accept that I am not a decent human being at all. But of course I will be some day.

Starting today. (That's what I said last time, but this time I know for sure it will work.)




I'm just really sorry I collaterally damaged so many people.

Headline: mich the bitch fucks shit up agaIN

I shouldn't be allowed to exist. 

On a different note this article is interesting:

 http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/if-men-are-in-crisis-the-answer-is-feminism-8621335.html

Although a lot of the comments make me want to gouge my eyes out. 

NO PAT NO, DON'T SIT ON THAT

I don't know. I haven't written in a long time because every time I decide to blog all the comes to mind is rant after rant after rant. Especially because people are just stupid in general. But I realize that blogging about my problems isn't going to make them magically disappear or make stupid people unstupid. So I didn't, and I won't. Instead, I will list my top 10 favorite TV shows (including: sitcoms, reality etc.) because lists are therapeutic and so are TV shows.

1. The Vampire Diaries
2. Sherlock 
3. Modern Family
4. How I Met Your Mother
5. Glee
6. Ugly Betty
7. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
8. Masterchef
9. The Carrie Diaries
10. Black Mirror

I'm pretty sure this is not an all-inclusive list and I probably did leave out some TV shows I loved once upon a time that I have now forgotten about. G-U-A-V-E. 

(What is guave? I will explain some other time.)

"Shedding what doesn't serve you"

  So a friend (also known as the same friend as before HA HA ha) of mine suggested I watch a video by youtuber/tumblogger and OUR IDOL Ceedling (THIS is her Youtube channel, THIS is her tumblr.)
  It's called "Shedding what doesn't serve you", and it's basically a video on ridding yourself of the 'toxic' people in your life in order to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
  The video was very timely, and the advice was sound. While watching the video, images of people I never even thought of as 'toxic' started to appear, some even surprising myself. Though shedding them would be very difficult and messy, at least I've learnt to recognize who they are. I don't doubt that I hold the position of being 'toxic' to some of the people I am around, and while I constantly tell myself I need to change, old habits are hard to get rid of. Reflection is the first step, though. So I'm on my way.

Abortion and other lovely things to think about at night when you're trying to sleep

I blame a friend for the insomnia-induced contemplation of abortion rights. 

She helped me rediscover comic central, so I spent the entirety of my evening watching Jon Stewart verbally beat up O'Reilly and that alone was enough to get my adrenaline rushing. 

Anyway, I always used to be pro-choice, and I still am. Kind of. But, while I was trying to fall asleep, a weird thought occurred to me. Abortion isn't a tool for equality, it is a tool for sameness. In the process of aborting a baby to further your career, or to retain autonomy of your body, we are in essence conforming to a male-oriented society. Abortion likens that of a double-edged sword for women’s rights in that it creates a dead-end or cul-de-sac. Without the right to choose, women would be consequently confined to a gender role that possibly does not resonate with their own values or aspirations. Nonetheless, this also acts to overlook the greater issue of our patriarchal society: the lack of support for women as mothers within our society, and how it is constructed only to allow those that have qualities of a male to flourish. 


I still believe in the choice of abortion, of course. Denying the right for women to govern their own bodies at their own discretion places them into submissive roles in society, condemning them to second-class citizenship as mothers. Once a woman becomes a mother, due to certain hindrances presented by an arguably (SORRY THAT WAS JUST THERE TO SEEM IMPARTIAL I REALLY MEAN: DEFINITELY) patriarchal society, her opportunities become severely limited. The safe and legal access to abortion allows a woman to have the basic right of autonomy, something which is and has always been granted to men. It allows women to walk away from sexual activity with the same amount of responsibility as men. For this reason, abortion has the quality of making the properties of both genders more similar to each other. 

Or, the female gender more similar to the male gender. 

That in itself is a form of inequality.  In fact, I think that women’s equality is still based on standards set by men for men. “In order to be equal, women must adopt the characteristics of men.” To be on an equal level politically, socially and economically, women cannot become pregnant, because that is something that men do not do. To put it blatantly, though abortion liberates women in the short term, abortion liberates men and society in the long run.

I found a great quote from Germaine Greer; she encapsulates the feminist pro-life reaction to the legalization of abortion perfectly: "[With winning the right to abortion] What women 'won' was the 'right' to undergo invasive procedures in order to terminate unwanted pregnancies, unwanted not just by them but by their parents, their sexual partners, the governments who would not support mothers, the employers who would not employ mothers, the landlords who would not accept tenants with children, the schools that would not accept students with children. Historically the only thing pro-abortion agitation achieved was to make an illiberal establishment [patriarchal culture] look far more feminist than it was" 

While I fully support abortion rights and the freedom of choice it entails with a fiery passion, I also disagree with the fact that this is society's only answer to pregnant women in the workplace, government, etc. 

I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking too much into the issue.

 

Lunch, July...no wait August...OH SHIT AUGUST!?!?!?!

Crap guys it's August already.
This year flew by way too fast. And most of it passed with me being stressed over my social life, academic life and just life. But instead of ranting, I will go back to what this post was meant to be, a healthy recipe....ta daaa....!! This is my go to meal, it has all the nutrition you will EVER need, AND it's filling so that you won't be snacking on junk food later.

(DISCLAIMER: This is a HIGH protein, LOW calorie diet. It will NOT help you lose weight, it is for people who want to build muscle, and are doing at least 30 minutes of high intensity cardio exercise daily.)

This is me, post-weight-training. (And the dish) 

Ingredients:

2 eggs
Half of a bell pepper (red OR yellow, but I find yellow ones clash less with the green vegetables...SUE ME FOR WANTING A HARMONIOUSLY COLORED DISH)
1 celery stalk (large)
1 large green chili
1/4 of an onion

1. Dice up all the vegetables
2. Seperate the egg yolk from the egg white
3. Set the stir fry pan on the stove
4. Add a spoon of oil (THAT IS ALL YOU NEED I'M SERIOUS)
5. When the oil starts to simmer, pour in the vegetables.
6. Stir
7. Pour in the egg whites
8. Stir
9. Pour onto a plate

(I like to have this as my side dish, and a handful of brown rice. By handful, I literally mean, the size of my fist.)

If the taste is a bit bland for you, you could add some soy sauce, sriracha and salt during the frying process! Or, you could op for some spicy dip on the side (I like black bean chili sauce, it's an asian thing....)

If you don't want to waste your egg yolk, then make a pure egg yolk omelette for the next morning! However, I wouldn't recommend that daily. Egg yolk is extremely nutritious but also high in cholesterol and too much can be harmful. As breakfast though, it is perfect because it is packed with antioxidants, vitamins and minerals.

Yum, I will get back to eating now.

Mysteries/My stories

What is a girtle?
Why do I associate myself with the animal turtle?
Am I a bitch?
If not, why am I Mich the Bitch?
Why do I constantly have nothing to write about?
Why am I so boring?
Why am I?

These are all mysteries I will address.

One day.

(That day is not today, good night.)

Standard

Hey guys,

   Even though it's obvious and I will be saying something completely useless: THIS IS MY FIRST POST!!! (It's standard, and I love being standard.)

I'm currently 2/3rds of the way through my summer, and this is usually the time I get crazy ideas and start projects I never finish. However, it's not boredom that's driven me to make this blog. In fact, I have a lot of things on my plate, namely getting my Violin ABRSM Diploma out of the way, dragging my sorry ass to an internship at the Xinhua News Agency every morning and getting fit for school sports tryouts. The actual reason behind my decision to make this blog is complicated. (Not really, it's just me seeking attention)

- Makes bell pepper and egg stir fry for the first time
- Feels like a professional cook
- 'Hey, maybe I should start a blog for healthy recipes even though this is maybe the 4th actual time I've touched anything in the Kitchen.'
- Starts browsing for blogging sites while consuming the bland concoction I created
- 'I mean, maybe it could be a healthy lifestyle blog, that'd be more fun and less restricting.'
- 'But if we're talking restrictions maybe I should just resort to a blog about my life.'
- 'But there's nothing readable going on in my life. I don't have any problems, I'm not funny or interesting. If my life was a dish it would be this dish I'm eating now.'

And then I decided to make a blog about how unbloggable I am. So here we are.

If you like reading about a 16 year-old Asian girl going to boarding school in England, trying (and failing) to beat procrastination, pick up some quirky hobbies and do something with her life, then this is the blog for you.

Join me, Mich the Bitch, on this joyously boring and slow ride to blogability.

(Oh god if my friends ever find this.)

This is me in all my averageness