Ok late night post.
I feel like I'm continuously asking and wanting forgiveness and understanding from my friends for my own personality flaws/wrongdoings, yet I don't actually change? And then I just keep doing these things over and over again.
Reminder: No one is going to repeatedly take shit from me, no matter how close. Not even my family.
Everyone who does or ever has called themselves my friend is probably a great human being. I actually suck at friendship. I'm just a really selfish person.
Sometimes I forget that my appreciation and gratitude towards my friends still being my friends is not enough fuel to keep a friendship going. I actually have to stop being a flaky little bitch. I don't know if it's worse that it comes so unconsciously. Does this mean these are just careless mistakes due to my personality flaws or does it mean my subconscious is actually an evil bitch who cannot keep to itself??
Why the fuck I suddenly decided to be Robin Hood I don't know. It never was any of my fucking business.
I don't know how I'm going to set things right this time, her wound has reopened and the cut is too deep this time.
What disgusts me is part of me still thinks that it's not entirely my fault.
I'm starting to think I have some mild form of a borderline personality disorder. Or maybe I'm a pathological liar/sociopath.
Or maybe I should stop watching Girl, Interrupted.
Or maybe I should stop trying to clinically find a blame for my own badpersonhood and just accept that I am not a decent human being at all. But of course I will be some day.
Starting today. (That's what I said last time, but this time I know for sure it will work.)
I'm just really sorry I collaterally damaged so many people.
I am a 16 year-old conglomeration of contradictions and spontaneity, therefore my blog is, too. But it's not 16. It's not even 1. (This blog will not have impeccable grammar, hilarious one-liners and deep moving stories. It will have feminist rants, the occasional recipe, and maybe poetry. Your choice.)
Sep 1, 2013
Headline: mich the bitch fucks shit up agaIN
I shouldn't be allowed to exist.
On a different note this article is interesting:
http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/if-men-are-in-crisis-the-answer-is-feminism-8621335.html
Although a lot of the comments make me want to gouge my eyes out.
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